Many Morgan Stanley Smith Barney clients are charitably inclined and active in their communities, but many struggle to find more balance in their lives, to learn how to say “no” to causes that are outside of their priority areas and to make their gifts and involvement more meaningful and lasting. 

To help women clients explore how philanthropic giving can add meaning and balance to their lives, the firm recently sponsored a Women’s Donor Retreat in Armonk, NY. The event was moderated by Melanie Schnoll Begun (above), Managing Director, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney Philanthropic Services.

“We wanted to offer our clients an opportunity to learn from professionals and hear first hand how other women have successfully unlocked the power and potential of their philanthropy and created a personal generosity plan for themselves and their families,” Schnoll Begun explained.

Over the course of two days, invited clients, their Financial Advisors and an influential panel of guest speakers, including Kathy LeMay, founder, President and CEO of Raising Change, a philanthropic advisory firm, explored how women can frame bold and cutting-edge visions for themselves to advance social change.

A series of provocative questions at dinner the first night helped set an introspective and collaborative tone for the conference.

 “What was the most courageous thing you have ever done?”

“I said ‘yes’ to going out with my husband,” said one woman. “That choice led to our wonderful partnership and years of making great choices that now include our upcoming trip to Africa to sink a well in a town that has never had running water before.”

 “Who modeled generosity for you? What was your greatest experience in giving back?”

Those questions started a lively discussion as the women shared stories of their families and the roots of their interest in giving. One woman told how her mother “scraped the last bit of butter off the wrapper it came in to save up to buy me a piano.” This fostered a love of music that led to her starting a foundation that gives to artists who make an impact on their communities.

Focusing on personal memories of parents, grandparents and mentors also helped the participants see how life incidents help create a legacy that can pass from one generation to the next. And for women who may not be fully comfortable with their wealth—or how it may be viewed by others—the free-flowing conversations proved both freeing and reassuring.

Believing That You Can Make a Difference

The women were encouraged to think about their passions and the unique skills and talents they bring to the causes they care about most. “You are the experts in fixing the problems you care about,” LeMay encouraged. “Once you figure that out how easy it is to make a difference [you can] step up for your own causes.”

Such encouragement was empowering. In the words of one attendee: “I wasn’t sure that I could really make a difference, but after this discussion, I realized how important our efforts really are, and that’s why we need to be even more strategic about focusing on the things we care most about.”

For example, one client told how she and her siblings decided one day that instead of giving each other gifts they didn’t need, they would pool their money and give it away. “Each year, we talked about where it should go, but we could never agree on a cause. It wasn’t until our son Charley got sick that we all agreed to give it to help cure his disease.” By then years had gone by. “We were shocked to find out there was $30,000 in the pot for Charley’s Fund.”   More importantly, starting Charley’s helped her realize she wasn’t alone; she could help others struggling with similar issues.

Making a Bigger Impact

As a practical matter, no one can give to every cause. Yet many clients admitted they often found themselves not knowing how to say “no.” LeMay’s advice: “Start by taking an inventory of your current giving. The more you know about where and why you give, the easier it will be to begin to focus your efforts.”

One effective way to create a philanthropic budget is to bucket giving efforts into four categories:

• Core: where your primary passion lies.
• Discretionary: because someone asked you
• Family: gifts to family members also count
• Emergency:   unfortunately, natural disasters always occur; it may be wise to set some funds aside

Bucketing helps determine exactly where a donor’s money is going and helps focus giving efforts. In LeMay’s view, at least 50% of all gifts should be channeled to a donor’s core passion. “This kind of plan frees you from too much discretionary and other giving,” she said. “You can concentrate your money and time where your heart is.”

Setting Parameters

It’s also important to identify and understand what conditions an organization must have in place before getting involved. It may not be enough to share a vision. What is its business model? What are its intentions, plans and hopes? How does the organization feel about your involvement?

Viewing charitable giving as a two-way street, in which both the donor and the organization get something out of the experience, means neither side is likely to feel taken advantage of.   “It’s your responsibility to speak up and say what you need from your organization,” the group was told. “Otherwise, misunderstanding may set in.”

“No” Leading to a More Powerful “Yes”

When philanthropic giving is focused and clear, it’s easier for people to join in and support your cause. Having a concise personal mission statement for your giving can help. Indeed, one client noted that she puts a short version of her mission on her letterhead. “I want to make it clear to everyone that this is my passion,” she said.

Going Out Into the World